series of self-portraits Waiting

The series of Alan Proosa's self-portraits deal with the humane aspects of hope, desire, irony, beauty, melancholy and so on. They also deal with androgyny, transgendered aspects, the relation between masculine and feminine.

*Throughout our lives, we are all waiting for something or somebody. Some are waiting for things to begin, some for things to end. Hoping for a better day, or love, brighter future, changes and justice, light in the end, somebody that understands.
Cannot help it.
Even the ones, that claim to have given up all hope, are still waiting for things to come. The inevitable. The fatal. The big deal. Become real.
Little things, that count...

Waited for the Surfer Rosa, to pick me up.
For beautiful Luna. Take me over.
For Mellon Collie to leave me.. She is here to stay.
Waiting while the bloom is fading away.
Strawberry fields.
Cosmic dust..
Shiny boots of leather.
Many crave for the enlightenment.
Some want nothing but the blood and flesh.
Somewhere. Somebody. Something.
So many ways for getting there.
Touch. Smell. Disconnect.
Feel. Nothing. Feel. High.
Open up. Dream. Don't forget. Forgive.
Feel. Satisfied. Feel. Innocent. Aware.
Trust. Bond. Accept. Imagine. Include. Deny.
Hold. Let go. 

I was born in Soviet Union. I've never felt totally comfortable with the binary gender model. I have at times gone through questioning my gender identity, witnessing somewhat conflictive situations between my mental and biological sex. Estonian society is opening up towards accepting people of different gender identities and sexualities. Although things are getting better now considering the liberal and open-minded views, acceptance, tolerance, it is definitely a fight worth fighting for, still.

The series of my current self-portraits are an artistic self expression, but they also serve as the way to change mentalities, to enrich the scene and Estonian culture, considering the LGBTQ aspects, freedom of personality and etc.*

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